Roxtar Yoga

dealing with loss August 26, 2009

I just learned that a yogi friend, Kelvin, unexpectedly passed away recenty while vacationing in Hawaii with his family. He was a dedicated Bikram Yoga practitioner, I spent many sweaty hours with Kelvin on the mat at Bikram Yoga SLO. He was inspiring to practice next to, strong, focused, and steady. He befriended me one day as I was wearing a Michigan State sweatshirt and he also grew up in Michigan. He kept me abreast of Michigan sports, and in particular we had many important yogi conversations regarding the Detroit Pistons NBA basketball team beating the LA Lakers.

I won’t pretend I knew him more than that. Yet, no matter how little I know people, I always get saddened by death. I know that we will all die, that our bodies will return to the earth as they should. I feel blessed to have been touched by Kelvin, and many others who’ve left this earth, even if just for 5 minutes in the scheme of life. Is this another form of attachment, my sadness? It seems to me that being saddened and mourning the loss of someone leaving the world as I know it is a normal and healthy part of being human. In death I feel like I easily notice someone’s inner most goddess nature immediately. Maybe we would all benefit from trying to notice that without death prompting us. I feel like the love and good karma we put into the world lasts so much longer than our lives do. Kelvin’s tiny conversations, smile, sweaty dreadlocks, and presence in the background of my yoga practice, they left their positive mark on me. I am reminded today just how short this life can be. None of us has a guarantee for tomorrow. Yet, somehow we live on in what we gave even though the losses will always be there.

why am i such a hard ass August 25, 2009

I recently attended a yummy yoga workshop with Jason Crandell at Smiling Dog Yoga in SLO, CA.  It was 3 hours a day over the course of 3 days.  He was very knowledgeable, had a dry sense of humor which was just my style, and had such a patient and honest demeanor. He told us why he practices poses a certain way and emphasized that he doesn’t necessarily think that other methods/styles are bad, he’s just not drawn to them.
This was one of the first times that I didn’t push myself too hard in a workshop or training. I admit I am a lover of eyeballs sweating, physically challenging yoga. At my first teacher training with Baron Baptiste, I was faced with my tendency to wear myself out and push just a little too hard. I will never forget how sore I was after my first day of training with Baron, I almost cried getting back on the mat on the 2nd and 3rd days. I almost drowned trying to swim in the ocean after being so physically exhausted. I don’t blame Baron for this at all and really enjoyed my training with him and will probably continue to train with him. I just realized how much I can push myself past my healthy edge without realizing it until it’s too late and I’m injured, physically or emotionally. I suppose I am lucky and young enough that my body heals itself relatively quickly…so far. In my regular practice I have better learned what that healthy edge feels like, but give me the opportunity to practice 3+ hours a day, I lose touch with my limits.  I’m not sure if it was Jason’s teaching, or me having more yoga experience, probably a little of both, that really let me enjoy practicing and learning during his workshop, without extreme fatigue or pain.  Probably having a little more physical strength didn’t hurt either. I really appreciate the opportunity he and Lisa provided for me to be physically challenged in such a nourishing space.

This workshop coincided with life in such a way that I noticed just how little patience I have in general.  I noticed my mind reeling about telling me I needed to take control of my life right this second and I noticed my heart telling me to take space and not worry about labels or outcomes.  I noticed my mind being frustrated.  My impatience isn’t an obvious one, but it definitely encourages lots of subtle mindless chatter and negativity.  It encourages me to make rash changes and run from life in the quest for control.  At least I noticed it this time.  I smile at my impatience. I have started meditating more, 30 minutes every morning and am trying to in the evenings as well.  Every time it comes up, I smile, and it has helped. Interesting to say the least.

So, I will try to be more patient with myself and my life situations   May you as well…

Oh, I am thinking about doing a meditation retreat sometime next year. It sounds scary and liberating.

mexikarma August 17, 2009

I’m heading to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico in 10 days. Don’t be jealous. It doesn’t suit you and isn’t very yogi of you. I am very excited on many levels. I have noticed recently that overall, I’m an excited person. I’ll be visiting Mexico for the first time though. I’m taking this trip with 30 friends and colleagues from MINDBODY. It’s the first vacation like trip I’m taking in a long time, I’m often traveling to visit family or for work events. I will be bringing lots of sun screen, a trashy novel or two, my bikini, and my yoga mat…what else does a girl really need on vacation? I’m seriously, seriously, super seriously, looking forward to leaving my laptop and phone off the entire trip. How long has it been since I’ve been off the internet-technology grid? Sadly, a very long time.

Things that are on my mind this week. Trust. Relationships. Drama. Space. Jason Crandell. Hangovers. Karma. More on all of these things later from my couch