Roxy Yoga

Tuning to the Teacher Within March 29, 2010

This weekend I took yet another yoga workshop, this time with Kira Ryder of Lulubhanda’s Yoga Studio of Ojai, California. Yes, yoga is taking over the world muwahahaha.  Rumor is that Kira has given a lot of herself to to the yoga community in Southern California over the past six years and is one of our favorite “teacher’s teacher.” In fact, this weekend was designed with yoga teachers in mind and those seeking to broaden their perspective of the yogic arts and develop the ability to communicate from the heart.  What does that even mean you wonder?

We started by grounding into the earth with a yin (or more gentle, restorative) style yoga class.  We shared a little bit of info about each of ourselves and where we’re at with our yoga practice and/or teaching.  I found myself sharing how sick I have been of hearing my own voice lately.  Have you ever been sick of yourself?  Not that I don’t love myself, I’m just trying to find new words and inspiration in sharing myself and yoga with people.  I feel like I’m a solid teacher, but I want to get better, I want people to leave my class with that kind of yoga high you can only get on the mat. Similar to how I feel after Shiva’s class when I’m all gooey and I don’t even know what happened in class, but I know it felt good. It got me inspired to document why I teach yoga in the first place and what kind of class I’d like to lead. Have you ever thought about why you’re doing the things you’re doing, be it your job, relationships, or lifestyle?  I think it’s good to take stock of that reason every once in a while.  If I don’t hear a reasonable response maybe I should dig a little deeper or make a change. I teach yoga to help people become healthier, in body and mind. I teach to help people enjoy a few moments without coulda shoulda woulda thoughts. I teach to help people feel connected and inspired. Amongst other things.

Kira is an avid reader and I really enjoyed her sharing of reading recommendations and various information that related to yoga and life.  Saturday we conversed about The Effort Effect by Marina Krakovsky amongst other things. It’s a great article on research done by psychology professor Carol Dweck which attempts to answer the question, “What makes a capable child give up in the face of failure, where other children may be motivated by the failure?”  Dweck posited that the difference between the helpless response to challenges and it’s opposite – the determination to master new things and surmount challenges – lay in people’s beliefs about why they had failed.  People who attributed their failures to lack of ability versus those who thought they simply hadn’t tried hard enough.  I think that I often waiver in the face of challenges, more often than not I try harder, but I’ve definitely taken it personally and given up in certain scenarios as well. In college I tried harder, when it’s something not so natural to me, I tend to take it so much more personally.

How does this relate to yoga?  It relates more to who we are as human beings and the fact that this is what we have to face every day on the mat and in our lives.  Challenges aren’t easy, but they can be manageable if we learn to look at them as opportunities for growth.  We have to enjoy the learning process more than the results.

To be honest, I was feeling a little overworked and tired this weekend and didn’t want to commit to yet another thing to do on my schedule, even if it was yoga.  Yet as I predicted, I didn’t regret it once it was over.  I’m feeling pretty good for a Monday.  Kira is a wonderful teacher and she had me at her beautifully printed manual which I’ve been carrying around like a little puppy dog in my commuter bag.  I will continue to share thoughts from yoga workshop land. For now, I have to prepare to ride my bike home from work. The wind is blowing fiercely outside, at about 18 miles per hour.  That means that my leisurely ride home from work will be more like an uphill climb in my granny gear.

Sneaky yoga March 27, 2010

Thoughts from yoga workshop land. This one is for Kira and my fellow yogi friends sharing the mat with me this weekend at the dog.

Never underestimate the sneakiness of yoga.
Yoga has taught me how to live. I never realized that before.
Learn how to feel grounded so that when what supports you changes, you can still feel safe.
Acceptance is the dance partner of change.

Ok. Sleepy. More to follow.

i don’t like to sweat… March 22, 2010

“I don’t like to sweat because my tan will run.”

“I just peed on myself.”

“I want to do Hot Yoga. I want to lose 10 pounds today because I have dinner at the Applebees tonight and I need to look hot.”

Just a few quotes from one of the following ridiculous and hilarious yoga satire videos from www.yogadork.com.  Funny! They seem to be popping up more and more, and as a yogi who doesn’t take herself or her practice too seriously, I like them. It is good to remind ourselves not to take it all so seriously.  The Inappropriate Yoga Guy is pretty freaking hilarious too.

The Inappropriate Yoga Guy is pretty freaking hilarious too. Reminds me of my friend Brad

Squeaky Clean March 18, 2010

I survived my four-day spring cleanse and I am feeling amazing. Have you ever felt a little off, but didn’t even know you did until something or someone pointed it out? For me, I was feeling slightly unhealthy lately, a little chubby, bloated, and feeling like I couldn’t control it or change it. I noticed that it was affecting my self confidence. It’s amazing, but 4 measly days has given me the boost I needed. My energy is high. I learned that part of my problem was that I wasn’t going to the source. If you don’t change your mind, there is no way your health will change. It’s like putting a bandaid on a problem.  I was slightly stressed, wasn’t taking great care of myself, and I needed to take a step back and relax.  But I wasn’t admitting I needed that step back, so I was just kind of hovering there.  Ahhhh, the paths we must take to get to where we are.  I have found renewed appreciation for ayurveda and cleansing.  Both are great practices when done gently, with love.

Somethings I learned..

• Taking a weekend off of eating out and drinking alcohol should be a more regular practice.
• Kitcheree when traveling is wonderful.
• Yin yoga and meditation are my new morning friends.
• Ayurvedic practices feel really good to my whole being. More than counting calories or competing with my man friend for healthfulness.
• I want to eat more naturally. Whole grains and veggies. Less processed.
• I want to use dairy and fat as more of a treat and less of a main course.
• I want to remember that treats are yummy when enjoyed periodically. When they become a regular practice they aren’t so much treats anymore.
• I really enjoyed having Holly & my friends support on the cleanse. I don’t have to be miserable to take better care of myself. She gave us the right amount of flexibility and I feel like she showed me how to listen to my body better when trying to cleanse.  In the past I was too strict and hard on myself.

You know it’s time for something when…

You are sad that you aren’t at work to enjoy tamale day. Really?
A day off of drinking is only having 1-3 drinks.
Eating 5 meals out in a weekend is normal.
You feel like you don’t have food at home if you don’t have rosemary triscuits and cheese in the house.
You wear your “fat” clothes. You know you’ve got ‘em.
You notice other peoples weight or shape and compare yourself to them. Normally, I think I’m just a different kind of awesome.
You accidentally eat a whole bag/box of something without noticing.
You can’t sleep.
You keep getting sick.
You get all bijigity over something or someone unnecessarily.
You aren’t as smiley lately.

Notes from cleansing land March 14, 2010

Notes from day 3 of my spring cleanse. Simple, wholesome food can actually be tasty and enjoyable. Eating your largest meal at lunch and a smaller dinner actually feels good once you’re used to it. Yin yoga is blissful. Meditation is like candy for the brain and spirit. Nature is my friend. My body is my friend. And lover. I don’t have to eat something every time I feel “hunger” in my stomach. Sometimes hunger isn’t what my body is feeling at all. Sometimes it’s my mind being needy. Unsweetened herbal tea and warm lemon water are good snacks. I really like vegetables. And salt. I’m looking forward to sushi and a nice refreshing beer on Tuesday. Cleansing the body and taking an over-consumption break doesn’t have to imply starvation or extreme measures. Eating cleanly is the best way for me to detoxify, cleanse, feel healthier in the body and mind. It is not always easy to hear what your body is saying. I would rather eat ghee in my food than take a shot of it every morning.

Tomorrow is the last day of my cleanse. The retreat aspects of my journey is over. It was great. I am sleepy.

Still Cleansing March 13, 2010

Tonight I have reached the end of the 2nd day of my Yin Yoga & Ayurveda Cleanse Retreat. I have bee meditating, eating beans, rice, and veggies, practicing yin yoga, and taking some digestive herbs and herbal teas. The retreat has met for a few hours each day, and then we’re on our own. Today’s class was great. We had a meditative hike which led us into the lush green hills of Arroyo Grande with an amazing view of the surrounding mountains and ocean. During the silence in nature I felt very peaceful, much more than I have in a while. I felt such gratitude for everything around me. I felt awe for mother nature and the shade of green she has painted the typically brownish mountains of the central coast. The sun was shining, the wind was brisk, it felt good to be alive. Yin yoga felt amazing per usual. I feel like I should meditate and practice yin every morning, even if just for 20 minutes. 10 minutes. It feels like it has such a positive impact on me, my mind and my body. I feel at peace. I want to be nicer to myself and those around me. I realize that it isn’t such a big deal. I want to have fun, but not so much I make myself sick. Not that I want to give up my lover vinyasa, I think I would like to split my time more between the two practices.

We had a cooking demonstration and enjoyed lunch as a group. I really like my version of kitcheree better, I think I don’t like one or two of the spices she uses, but I’ve taken to adding enough veggies to it so it tastes better to me. This cleanse has been better than any of the juice cleanses I have tried in the past. For me, staying nourished is a must. I still have moments of feeling a little angry or hungry, but never so much that I feel overwhelmed by it.

Tonight I went to a St. Patrick’s Day party with my friends. It’s an annual event, and it’s usually very fun and decadent I really enjoyed it again this year as always and it was not as hard as I thought it would be to stick to my cleanse. I had a single bite of corned beef, a single sip of beer, and sipped my water all night long. If you haven’t already guessed, I’m not a strict kind of yogi, and those bites were just enough flavor for me to say “Mmmm, I’ll enjoy you later.” My friend Matt played some awesome tunes and I got up and danced the night away. I was reminded how much of my behavior is just pure habit, ok, sometimes it’s stress related too. But tonight my friends, I just let go of “the cleanse mind” and had a grand ole time. If I can have a blast while cleansing, I should be able to enjoy all life has to offer, in some way, right? And let me tell, you, it really wasn’t that hard. I just had to sit through some quiet moments, some tiny moments of hunger or sleepiness that eventually the song was right, and it was time to let a little roxtar out to play. Sometimes a little patience and uncomfort is ok. Tonight I didn’t worry about what I was or wasn’t doing that others were or weren’t doing, and just smiled and enjoyed the present moment.

Spring Cleaning Part Deux

It’s the morning of my 2nd day of my Ayurvedic Cleanse and I am happy to report I feel great. My friend and I are participating in the workshop together, and yesterday we were pretty grumpy and negative for about an hour. The kitcheree was too bland, can we add salt please???, I’m hungry, I have a headache, yada yada yada. Then we got to our retreat and it was like ahhhhh. Everyone is going through the same thing, and it made it feel so much lighter. Thankfully, we were given the go ahead on salt, whew. Who knew herbal mint tea would taste so amazing. It was great to be able to ask questions and talk with people and not feel so frustrated while you’re body is cleansing.

It’s always so amazing to me how quickly the body goes into “cleanse mode.” By mid-afternoon yesterday I was hungry and felt a little weak. That’s only two freaking cleansing meals. I’m also impressed by how much of eating is done for mental reasons and not physical, and how obvious it is when you do something like a cleanse. It’s not like I’m starving, I’ve got a healthy layer of fat on my body and I’m eating pretty good food, spiced rice and beans and vegetables yet my head goes into grumpiness pretty quickly. Last night we had a yin yoga class which really hit home and brought peace to my mind. In a way, cleansing is like meditation for the body. It gives you an opportunity to turn off the distractions and just breathe. I came home and took our requisite bath and found myself a little tired and out of it, yet not overwhelmingly so. I cleaned my kitchen and did a few more house things before retiring for the night. During past cleanses I’ve needed to pass out at 8pm and get 12 hours of sleep so I am enjoying the more natural body rhythm that this cleanse seems to encourage. Off to our 3rd session where we will learn how to make ghee, kitcheree, go on a meditative hike, and more yin yoga. Then, I have a party with friends where I will need to be nice to myself and take it easy. This will be the challenge, yet, I think to myself, there are always more good times to be had, missing one or a few isn’t going to kill me or make life unenjoyable or make my friends disown me.

Spring Cleaning March 11, 2010

It is that time of year again. Spring-time. It’s time for renewal. Spring cleaning. Blooming. I’m enjoying these longer days with the sun shining hot and the wind blowing cold. I’m participating in an Ayurveda Cleanse Retreat this weekend. Last night was the first class and we were given an intro to the retreat and instructions for the weekend. I had to giggle, I occasionally sign up for workshops and trainings that are a little more dedicated and serious than I perceive they will be. “Spring Cleanse and Yin Yoga, oh that sounds nice and relaxing.” Then I inevitably get a little wake-up call. “You will be eating kitchadi and taking shots of warm ghee for 4 days.” My first yoga teacher training was similar. I thought “I’m not sure if I want to be a teacher, but a yoga vacation sure sounds nice.” Then Baron proceeded to kick my ass and wring me out for 8 days. He said, “This is not a yoga vacation. This is a bootcamp.” Oops.

Anywho, I’m excited about this workshop even if I wasn’t sure what I was getting into. Isn’t it funny how we sometimes have to kid ourselves in that way? How we skirt over the details and total truth of a situation and wonder how we got there. Something about me wanted to sign up for this workshop, my first teacher training, and I’m sure many other challenging or different-than-expected situations I end up in. I always end up without regrets too. I suppose the jump-in attitude is a positive thing, most of the time.

My intention is to enjoy a little more nourishing time for myself this weekend. I’m looking forward to meditation and yin yoga rather than the active life I normally live. It will be interesting to explore how much of my eating is mental rather than physical. I’m also looking forward to learning more about Ayurveda, the 5000 year old ancient Indian nutritional system that is the sister practice to yoga. The cleanse focuses on eating kitchadi, which is basically lentils and rice with spices. It is considered a very nourishing, healing and cleansing meal. Holly, one of our retreat leaders, outlined four eating plans for us to choose from, eating kitchadi only for all meals, or adding in some variations with vegetables, whole grains, and protien if you feel you need it. Our largest meal of the day should be lunch.

The schedule looks like this:

Thursday, March 11 – 7 – 8:30 p.m. Introduction and cleanse review; pick up kitchadi
Friday, March 12 – 6:30- 8:30 p.m. Yin yoga, Ayurvedic workshop
Saturday, March 13 – 9 – 1 p.m. Walking meditation, Yin yoga, Ayurvedic cooking demo & lunch
Sunday, March 14 – 2 – 4:30 p.m. Yin Yoga, Ayurvedic workshop

Change is in the air. I hope you are finding a way to enjoy a little renewal as I am this season. Maybe cleaning your body, your home, your relationships, or just enjoy a little rest if your body is asking for it. It’s time to lighten up, enjoy the longer days, and start to shake off the winter blahs.

Later, I would like to update on a few projects I’ve mentioned on this blog that I haven’t discussed in a while including the splits challenge from last year and my weight loss challenge I started this year.

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!” ~Robin Williams

Yin Versus Yang March 4, 2010

At this point in my life I am a high energy, yang kind of gal. I’m a fan of vinyasa yoga, riding my bike, burning energy, and being challenged. I’ve even taken up circuit training lately just to try something new and challenge my body in a new way. Yet, some days, I have to honor the yin energy, the more subtle, restful nourishment or so I was reminded this week. Yin is usually characterized as slow, soft, insubstantial, diffuse, cold, wet, and tranquil. It is generally associated with Femininity, birth and generation, and with the Night. Yang, by contrast, is characterized as fast, hard, solid, dry, focused, hot, and aggressive. It is associated with Masculinity and with the Daytime.

After riding my bike with friends to Avila Beach last weekend, about 23 miles round trip, I noticed my legs were a little tired during my next vinyasa yoga class. Then I had a moment of tweaky pain that scared the crap out of me. I have had what I think is tendinitis in my right hip for the last few years and a regular yoga practice usually keeps it feeling pretty good. Before Monday, I hadn’t even noticed it lately. On Monday though, I don’t even remember what I did but I was practicing yoga and it was one of those moments of pain that makes you freeze and tear up and run to childs pose like it’s your mamma holding a bandaid after you’ve fallen out of a tree.

My hip was there to remind me that rest is just as important as activity. Aadil Palkhivala, owner of Yoga Centers of Bellvue, once said in a class, when you’re young, vinyasa yoga is appropriate, but as you get older your asana practice changes with your body and mind. It makes sense that our bodies need different types of nourishment and activities as we venture into different phases of life. One of my favorite aspects of yoga is that it reminds us how to listen to our bodies and not our minds. My mind thinks I should weigh what I did in high school, that I need to be the strongest person in the room, the strongest version of myself, that I need to sweat for my yoga practice to count (this week anyways). Sometimes it seems as if we “yang types” don’t feel it if it’s not a little painful and that kind of makes me a bit sad. Do I really need to beat my body up to feel something? What is my real goal? I want to take decent care of this vessel that I’ve been blessed with given the tools available to me. I want to become a more conscious, giving, and loving person. I don’t need to overly work it, nor should I use my aches and pains as an excuse to be lazy. Because, lets face it, the older I get, the more I realize my aches and pains are just part of life, little reminders that I’m human. May we find the balance between yin and yang this week.