Everywhere I turn people are chatting about their eating philosophies and sharing their stories and thoughts. It got me to thinking about my reasons for going veggie and here I shall share them with the ether.

I don’t really like cooking meat. It’s slimy and takes planning to prepare and can be expensive. I would always thaw it out and forget about it and have to throw it away. I actually really like vegetables. I know, I know, that’s freakish in and of itself. But, seriously, after years of being afraid of tofu and any vegetable that wasn’t coated in cheese sauce, I now know you can prepare veggies to have great flavor and to be satisfying with just a little effort, and not more effort than it takes to cook a meal with meat. Legumes are such efficient, nutritious morsels. I really don’t like the way that “Corporate America” influences what we eat. From the overly processed, infinite shelf life, boxed flour and salt concoctions to terrible factory farming practices, why should some company’s profit influence what I nourish myself with? I’m not saying it doesn’t taste good, a lot of it tastes pretty fantastic. I’m also not saying I never eat it. Have you ever found yourself doing something only because that’s the way you’ve always done it and you never thought to consider it could be different? That’s how I think many of us are about food.

Have you ever noticed how your appetite expands after Thanksgiving dinner? When I started to give up “cheeseburgers” I realized that I didn’t really need them. Occasionally I craved them, especially if I was hungover, but I didn’t really need them. Then I went to a yoga training where the food was mostly vegan. The first few days I ate two huge plates of food per meal and by the end of the week, my appetite did something miraculous, it shrank. It did so even while I was exercising insane amounts each day. And so I started questioning my relationship with the bounty of our earth.

All that being said, I realize it does take initiative to learn how to nourish yourself well and that many people might not ever find the time or the spark to question it or change it. Many will probably go their whole lives doing a variation of what their parents did, or what their friends do, and won’t mind it, and won’t suffer terribly bad for doing so. I also realize that some people seem to need more protien and some have such an emotional attachment to meat, to them I say more power to ya. I only know that I don’t want to support corporate b.s., I don’t want to support treating animals like crap, I don’t want to create more negative karma in the world, and I want to live a long healthful life, and for me, eating more veggies than animal products seems like an easy way to start.

Happy Monday. May your food nourish your body and mind today.  In case your curious, some books that have influenced my diet include Diet for a New America, The Omnivore’s Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals, Ayurveda: A Life of Balance, and Eat Right 4 Your Type.

Previously, I wrote about why I gave up cocktails, sleep, and laziness for 30 days for my Yoga Teacher Certification.  Now, I share what these 30 days were really like for me, and my conclusions.  In addition to giving up the juice, I spent these days…

• Waking up every day near 6:15am when I’d rather cuddle all morning.
• Practicing yoga every day for at least 20 minutes.
• Meditating every day for at least 20 minutes.

My overarching goal: renewed dedication to my health, wellness, and sanity for just 30 simple days. I actually enjoyed waking up early to practice yoga and meditate once I got used to it, the early morning summer sunrise was on my side.  It is absolutely imperative to get to bed by 10pm if one wants to wake up at the butt crack of dawn. That is the secret key that those morning exercisers and parents everywhere have known all along.  Once I realized that I am waking up to do something I love, it wasn’t so hard to drag myself out of bed.  We wake up every day for work and doing other things that are required of us, why shouldn’t I wake up to do something that’s just for me? There is never going to be an easier moment than right now.

I dedicated myself to doing the yoga poses that I have an aversion to, that are the most painful and difficult for me, each and every day, with a bunch of blocks and props to help me survive them. They are king arthur’s pose, monkey pose, forearm balance, double pigeon, and frog. I usually do a little sun salutations to warm up, then fit those in somehow, and wowsers, they hurt so good.  My body is feeling much more open to these postures now, but we are far from best friends at this point.

I did a lot of fire based yoga practices and I noticed that it often made me grumpy. A fire practice is a more energetic sequence of postures that ignite, sustain, and transform your energy. In other words, hurt-so-good kind of sweaty yoga with lots of yogi push-ups, strong standing poses, and core work.  The fire absolutely demands your breathe and integrity in your body.  They say that if you play with fire you’re gonna get burned, and burned I got.  I was fatigued and overtired often after playing with the fire.  Practicing yoga and participating in any challenging physical practice requires that we manage our energy with honesty and grace.  It’s not about kicking your own ass or playing the panda bear and not challenging yourself at all, it’s about finding a middle ground.

Lack of sleep makes me crazy, no matter how healthy I am being otherwise! During my 30 days I attended a friends bachelorette party, a comical, wonderful little cultural ritual. I think I might use the excuse of being a yoga teacher in training more often. People totally accept it and want to talk about yoga when you say “Sorry, no drinks for me, I’m in a personal sadhana.” I played the roll of designated driver during a celebratory evening of dinner, watching the roller derby, and night life. I was exhausted by the time I got to bed at 2:30am and driving people all over the Bay Area of CA. After being awoken by a forgotten alarm, and having to drive 4 hours home, I was more tired than I had been in a long time. I had a sleep deprivation hangover. I went to bed by 9pm Sunday night and slept like a baby until the morning.

I didn’t mind being the only one not partaking in the cocktails throughout my 30 days, and in particular during the bachelorette party. It was a great group of women and I enjoyed conversing with them throughout the night. They weren’t overindulging too terribly, and I didn’t feel left out because I wasn’t. I was approached by a few intoxicated men towards the end of the night. I was sort of taken aback by how silly-drunk and obnoxious they were. “Did he just do the frat boy waist grab?” I wondered.  It reminded me of college and how crazy the drinking and party scene was there. Hormones and freedom combined to equal chaos. Usually I have no problem telling people who are crossing my lines to leave me alone.  This time I wasn’t so blunt or forthright.  I just walked away instead. Interesting I thought.

Omitting alcohol from my daily life was just the right sadhana to give myself a little break. I had a few moments of feeling left out or a bit awkward in a social settings where alcohol was being consumed en masse. Sometimes you just feel a little off though, whether or not you are drinking cocktails. During those awkward moments I noticed that I wanted to have a drink with everyone a little more than usual and I realized how easy it is for alcohol to become a sort of safety net in social settings. It allows us to loosen up and feel like we belong. Instead of partaking, I just said oh well, I’m having an off day, and went home. By the next morning though, I let it go. A good nights rest is wonderful medicine sometimes.

At moments I got sick of talking about why I’m not drinking this month and I couldn’t tell if I bring it up or if others do and it seemed to be a little of both. It’s amazing how much we have to say about drinking alcohol, or lack there of. It’s such a culturally accepted habit, and it’s so much a part of our social structures. So many people have a history with it, an opinion of it, good or bad or both.  I never really think about it being a big deal or conscious choice and just have a drink because that’s what we often do.

I admit I’ve had moments of being extremist on myself, thinking, “I feel so great, I’m going to keep this up forever. I’ll never drink again! Yoga every day! Yes!” And then I come back to reality and remember that I actually like beer, and I like drinking it with my family and friends sometimes.  Have I really forgotten Alcoholics Notorious, bike wine tasting, and Oberon? We must be careful with the juice and it’s a good idea to take a break when needed, and maybe a permanent break if you find your bad moments start to outweigh the good, and you’re overindulging more than you mean to.  This sadhana has reminded me that taking a break isn’t so hard to do, and taking care of myself feels pretty damn good, but ultimately it’s all about finding a good, honest, balance. Oh, and I’m totally in love with yoga!

If you got all the way to here, then you must really be my friend or something. I apologize for the excessively long post, but sometimes a girl just has a lot to say.

I have completed 180 training contact hours for the Prana Flow Teacher Training Certification and I am working on completing the rest of the certification requirements which include a few different home study projects. Over the last 3 weeks I have been developing and practicing a Living Yoga Sadhana as part of my “Om Work”.

Sadhana is the sanskrit name that often gets translated as practice. The only problem with “practice” is that it can often become something we “do” and soon become a separate part of stream of daily life. To embody the flow in yoga is to enter the continuous stream of living yoga. – www.shivarea.com

Shiva often translates sadhana as the groove into one’s self. That groove can be like a subtle track, at first we learn a technique and the process is just beginning and is not established. Gradually, through daily process, the track has flow and transformational momentum and then develops into a natural channel that becomes a pathway within. I have found that sometimes I live in “technique land” for quite a while before I find my groove. But eventually the groove gets sweeter with patience. To live yoga, it is important to cultivate pathways that irrigate all aspects of one’s life and changes according to one’s nature. The purpose of developing my own sadhana is to develop practices that I fall in love with enough to sustain me when I’m not feeling the love flowing within me.

My Sadhana has been dedicated to renewed health and wellness. I have been slowly but surely falling in love with the practice of yoga for the last 5 years and during this time I have also become more aware of my health as an all-encompassing whole. I have tried to manage my health in a myriad of ways, and I have found that Ayurveda appeals to me more than any other “diet” or way of taking care of myself. Part of my Sadhana is to eat more Ayurvedically and also not drinking alcohol for 30 days to give my body a rest and gentle cleanse.

Check out one of my favorite Aurveda books, Ayurveda: A Life of Balance, a basic, but good cookbook, Ayurvedic Cooking for Westerners, and my favorite Ayurveda recipe ever!

What kind of practices do you have that sustain you? Riding bikes? Singing karaoke? Is it time to add another practice or layer to the mix? I ride bikes, eat veggies, practice yoga and wouldn’t have thought I needed another layer but have really enjoyed this process. Maybe you could too.

The first five days of my recent teacher training focused on Fluid Power Vinyasa Yoga. Fluid Power is considered wave motion within yoga. “Wave motion is the underlying movement of all creation – an understanding shared by Quantum Physics and the ancient wisdom of yoga which discovered thousands of years ago the pulsating quantum wave known as spanda or spanda shakti. Fluid Power practices explore the wave movement that is the reality of our fluid, quantum body for your circulation, longevity, creative renewal and amphibious longings.” Our bodies are 70% water right? As is the earth.

This was by far my favorite yoga training to date. I just love the yoga sequences we focused on, they are challenging, creative, and fun. Check out the Fluid Power DVD by Shiva Rea if you’re interested. Below are some of my thoughts, rants, and brain dumps from the immersion. Continue reading at your own risk.

My thoughts after this Fluid Power Wave…Don’t combine “work” with a yoga training or vacation. I made the mistake of trying this and my heart just wasn’t in it. Be honest, let work and your normal life know what to expect, and tie up your loose ends so you can enjoy the freedom. I loved morning yoga practice so much! Leading up to this training I practiced at least 10 minutes a day for a month, but something about doing it first thing in the morning felt even better than practicing a little every day. Since returning from yoga camp I have been trying to keep it alive. I’ve been hitting the hay by 10ish and getting up at 6ish to give myself time to meditate and practice before work. I really love it so far and have full intention of making this a more permanent part of my routine. The hardest part is going to bed by 10pm, but I swear if you do, it’s totally worth it, you wake up feeling good and get to enjoy time to yourself before giving your energy to the world. I have been telling my friends that I’m sleeping like a grandma now so they fully understand why I can’t be social after 9pm. Ok, so maybe on the weekends I give myself a little more freedom to sleep in.

My “pre-training-training” really helped me prepare appropriately for this experience. For 30 days I practiced yoga every day for 10 minutes and tried to practice for an hour every other day. The seven days leading up to the training I tried to take a class from another teacher or at a studio every day. Oh and kick my ass they did. I felt pretty tired at moments, but overall so much better than I had ever felt at a yoga training. It’s pretty amazing what healthfulness we are capable of if we just shut up and do it already.

We got the daily schedule for the 10 days, and it didn’t look too bad.

7-9am Opening Session
9-10:45am Shiva Public Class, aka “the real estate battle”
12:15-4pm Theory & Practice
4-6pm Teaching Lab
7:30-9:15pm Quantum Movie Night/Special Events

Most days had this rough schedule, we had one evening completely off. The evening activities and theory discussed varied each day. We usually practiced yoga during the 7am session, which I loved. As we got started at 7am that first day someone’s cell phone started ringing. It was totally loud and disruptive like only cell phone’s can be. Shiva said, “We all know our cell phone baby. It’s ok if it’s yours. Go ahead and get it. No really it’s ok, go ahead.” She compared hearing the ring on your cell phone to hearing your baby cry in a grocery store. We all know when it’s our baby.

Shiva then went on to explain how this training was not about pretenses, everyone has a moment where they need to take care of business, just try not to let that get into the way of our reason for being at the training. Don’t let it be an excuse to be lazy. What?!?!? An educational and shared study space where the rules are slightly flexible? Lightness when life happens? You mean I don’t have to be deprived of sleep, reality, sanity, food to participate in this? Where did I get the idea that something doesn’t count if it doesn’t cause pain? She really created and offered a space for a healthy challenge and learning. I always think the words, but to live them is another thing. She called it energy management. I’m not saying I don’t like a challenge or that my yoga practice or classes need to be wimpy. I just don’t want to be walking around causing myself more pain in the long term, through injuries, unconsciousness, lack of integrity and wholeness.

Some Shiva-isms I loved…”Pinch me if I ever get that corny…Movement isn’t just fun, it’s consciousness.”

Dedications, feelings, thoughts about the ten days at the beginning. I dedicated my training to my old self, Detroit, my family, my grandmas, my past and future students.

I really enjoyed practice teaching. She reminded us to keep in tune with our own sacred call, rhythm, breathe. Next, just say where the body part needs to go in space. “Inhale arms to the sky.” Finally, adding assists if appropriate. She mentioned that we can only measure brain activity when keeping still, wouldn’t it be amazing to see it while we do yoga? Hmmmm something to ponder. Another thing to ponder…Children being canaries in the coal mine, obesity, discontent, suicide?

During practice teaching you teach a small sequence of postures you may or may not know to a fellow trainee. I love that it brings me face to face with what I don’t know so quickly. Instead of making small mistakes while teaching a live class, you make them all right away when on the spot like this, and get the feedback immediately. Love it.

Shiva Brain Dump Tidbits…
Inhale offer hands forward
Exhale hands open to sides w/ om
How does your body respond to gravity
How can you get extension within that realm
Straight arms but not rigid
From flexibility to stability
Suhaja bhujangasana = dynamic plank…it has a name!
The battle for yoga mat real estate in LA
Serve tea to any kind of stress in your body
Gather the energy to move to the other side of your mat
Table top to dandasana, i likey
Unless you got a note from your mamma, you can do this pose
Now how low can you go, but how deep can you get
Inversion time is self-practice time
Breathe is birth
I want to read more about krama yoga sequencing
Breathe and sound are identical energetically
One inhale is like the 12 hours of night time
I really enjoyed chanting
Change should always happen for a reason. It gives the cells hope. The body holds fear, we want to ease it.
Try and find the difference between compression and opening. Sinking and lifting.
Kamakaze chaturangas
Iyengar’s Brilliant Prop World

Brain dump from Chris Tompkins lectures on (tantra) yoga.
We’re ok with trees dying, waves receding, but we’re uncomfortable with our own contraction
Be careful not to blame your life situations on a feeling you have or are creating
Whenever we find ourselves in a situation thinking “this should not be happening” you should try working with whatever is there. Can’t want to feel “contracted” or “expanded”.
Feeling love for someone is your own love that is being awakened. Beautiful triggers perhaps. Maybe for one wave: day, month, year, lifetime.
I found it interesting that only half the class felt enormous expansion (joy, happiness) after an unexpected contraction (suffering, pain). Hmm. (Like feeling like you learned or grew from the unexpected loss of a loved one).
Tantra believes we should have a better relationship with the Chitta Vrittis (mind chatter) rather than the idea of having “no-mind”.
Spanda is mantra. It means pulsation, but actually refers to the point between a contraction and expansion, inhale and exhale. This is the point of awakening.
Knots come from holding on to our life situations.
The mind is like a child. Sometimes you have to ignore it.
When you get “high” don’t make the mistake of giving the object credit. Or else everyone would get high when with that person who made you high, in that situation, it’s within you.

Day 8 of my 30 day yoga challenge found me coughing so hard I almost threw up and praying to my netty pot for peace and forgiveness. I’m not terribly sick by any means, but my sinuses are a little funky, and they keep draining into my throat and doing that little tickly thing back there that makes me keep coughing. Just annoying enough to make me not want to work or do yoga. But…I hit the mat with “Sheevs” (that’s my recent nickname for Shiva, my fearless yogi teacher). I did the Hip Opening sequence on her Fluid Power DVD. It was good.  I like Fluid Power much better than the Shakti DVD.

Moving Meditation (A circular kind of jiggy warm up)
Fluid Sequence (Non-traditional sun salutes, with lots of planks and pulsations in the poses)
Another Fluid Sequence. Unsure of the name but this was a sequence I’ve practiced with Shiva before and LOVE. Lets see if I can describe it. From downward facing dog. You inhale right leg to the sky, exhale step it through between your hands, inhale turn both feet and body toward the right, left hand planted, right hand stretches parallel to the ground over the right leg. Next, exhale shift over the other leg for half squat hamstring stretch, inhale turn to back of mat, left knee bent, right knee planted on the mat, inhale into supine crescent lunge. Next, exhale hands to the floor, facing the back of the mat, step back into half-plank, left foot lifted, lower through chaturanga, inhale upward facing dog, exhale downward facing dog, BOOM start over on the same leg facing the back of the mat. Magical it is!
Handstand Flow
Backbend Flow
Meditation
Shavasana

It’s really hard to write out a yoga practice. I’m going to keep practicing this sequence this week and try to teach it in my classes so join me if you want some fun.
This is what my yoga challenge has looked like so far:

Day 1 – 90 min/Shiva DVD
Day 2 – 50 min/taught and practiced vinyasa
Day 3 – 60 min/Shiva DVD
Day 4 – 75 min/taught vinyasa, flu attacked me, sinus headache nonsense, but did a few poses on floor
Day 5 – 75 min/taught and practiced vinyasa
Day 6 – poi and hula hooping. yes they counted.
Day 7 – 10 min vinyasa in the warm sunshine. Until interrupted. ‘Tis life.

Babies are all around me these days. I’ve been blessed to have been close with my brothers when they were babies and I’m excited to see so many great friends start down the path of parenthood as well. I spent most of my youth baby sitting my brothers, then later being scared of everything being a parent implied. Now I am more in awe of the journey of life and am excited to experience it in whatever ways it touches me. I am excited by the opportunity to learn and share health and wellness with people of all shapes, sizes, and phases of life, including my fearless mama friends on the mat. I found the following articles that were pretty good. Here it is ladies:

1. Stay off the mat for 6-8 weeks, no joke. I have heard of women working out too quickly and the abs never get a chance to heal correctly. Let your body adjust. It took 40 weeks to grow the baby, give your body a chance to recover on it’s own.
2. Don’t forget to take care of yourself a little bit. Even though you’re responsible for a helpless little cutie pie and very driven by their schedule, it’s good to remember to take care of yourself a little bit. This is a great article with miscellaneous poses for mom and baby while adjusting to parenthood, Conditions and Cures for Both Mama and Babe, from Yoga Journal.
3. Here’s another article for teachers, but I think it’s got really great info for new mamas. It explains how exactly the body is recovering and what we can do to make it as painless as possible.
4. I also found some DVD’s.  Although I’d rather practice in the studio, DVD’s can be a great resource.  My girl Shiva even has a Post Natal DVD.  You can search Amazon for Pre/Post Natal, I was shocked at the number of DVD’s or Check out this list from Amazon.  It’s a list of yoga resources from a mama herself.

Sun Salute A x3
Sun Salute B x3
Dancing Warrior 1 (insert 3 rounds of warrior 1 into salutation)
Dancing Warrior 4 (insert 3 rounds of warrior 1, 2, reverse, extended side, warrior 2 into salutation)
Ha Kriya (standing in a yoga squat doing an arm movement for a while)
Standing Pose Sequence (interesting combo that I can’t quite wrap my head around yet)
Backbending x2
Handstand
Shoulder Openers
Supine Poses

I am going to try to practice and memorize the Fluid Power DVD and also read the manual from my first training. I have already begun to realize that the best yoga happens each day and week that I work, teach, and practice on a continual basis. Trainings and intensives are great, but If I can’t figure out how to bring it home and get it to really sink in and share it, it’s all kind of pointless. I enjoyed my training with Shiva last year, but I’ve noticed that I have a hard time remembering it all and teaching from it. I get so busy it’s hard to take the time to learn anything new. I guess this is the case with life, it’s all about the tiny changes and dedication you can have each day to growth. It’s about the present moment. Cheers to 30 days of yoga.

The Business of Yoga Conference is always an amazing experience.  I taught a group of 70 people Online Marketing strategies and techniques.  Online marketing is one of the best guerrilla marketing strategies you can employ to help spread health and wellness to the world, to get your message out there efficiently and effectively.  That is my favorite thing about marketing and sales:  you’re not trying to push something people don’t want on them, you’re trying to share something that you believe in and encourage others to experience the joy and benefits that you experience.  Coming from a math & software background this was something I didn’t really understand until now.  It feels good to  share your passion, thoughts, and true self with others, and more likely than not there are always a few people who resonate with what you have to say, if you come from a place of truth.

We discussed e-newsletters and e-blasts, online advertising, online analytics, using blogs as websites, website design, social networking, and more.  Many of the students were enthusiastic and had great questions, it was a great forum for yogis of all technical abilities to connect and share.

Last night I took a hip opening class with Natasha Rizopoulos of YogaWorks.  I really enjoyed her description of the actions of the hips: external rotation, internal thigh stretching, pelvis neutral so your bowl isn’t spilling, front hips coming towards bottom ribs, tailbone descending, bring the floor to your hip in pigeon so the weight isn’t in your knee, your knees are expensive.  She adjusted me in Warrior II and I’m really not sure what happened, but it felt totally different than my usual stance.  I was on my right leg doing a lunge, back foot flat, back leg straight, and she pushed into my left hip crease forward toward the front of my mat and immediately my front knee caved in towards the center of my mat to alleviate the stretch in my tight ass hips.  What’s funny is that I really love Warrior II and the stretch it gives and it was interesting to learn that I have been totally taking it easy in the pose.  Now the hard part will be to figure out if I can do it again.  Two actions for me to remember: back hip crease moves forward, tuck the tailbone down towards the floor, pray to god your hips don’t detach from your legs and that you don’t fall over or grunt from the force of Your Tight Ass Hips.  I also really enjoyed doing Crescent Lunge with my back knee bent and exaggerating the same actions of the tailbone descending, front pelvis towards bottom ribs. Ahhhh, try it now while you’re sitting.  Feel your core engage?  Feel your shoulders come back? (not you Kristen

Today I took an Anusara Vinyasa Yoga class with Desiree Rumbagh.  Anusara means “flowing with grace”, “flowing with nature”, “following your heart.”   Anusara yoga teaches a few basic principals of alignment that you bring to all of your yoga practice which were kind of difficult, but felt really good the few times I got it.  In general you are always: “hugging your shin bones in, take your hips back and apart (kind of like you’re sticking your butt out in reality), tucking your tailbone under.”  Does that make any sense at all?  It sort of does when you see her incredibly strong body exaggerate the movements.  I have to say that all of my poses felt better and my body and mind felt great after class and I probably only “got it” half of the time.  I really liked her personality, she was having fun and it was just the right amount of yoga babble and asana to connect with.  Anusara is a style I’ll definitely try again.

Then I came back to my hotel room to enjoy lunch to ponder my practices. While I was in savasana or relaxation I noticed how my mind was alternating between pointless chitter chatter about past memories and this desire to create drama in my life.  I have been trying to create drama while traveling!  I noticed it twice this weekend, once when work got a little stressful.  The next time was when I still couldn’t connect with my loved ones over the phone.   I noticed both of these negative and frustrated reactions where I was angry and upset and thought, “what is this? what am i really feeling? how do i want this to change? what can i do to change this?”  In both situations I was quickly able to take a breathe and realize that the stress of travel has me reacting in ways that maybe aren’t my usual or most loving self. I wanted to take the stress of travel out on my loved ones for not being there when I wanted them to be, during the few moments I had to myself.  I wanted to force my work habits and expectations on others.  I wanted to take others stress and internalize it and make it my own.  The density of yogis in this hotel must have helped to clear my mind.  Yogi-ness must be permeating through these walls, I can feel the ooooommmmms resonating, or maybe that is the elevator making noise again.

I had a lot to say!  If you made it to the end of this you get a Gold Star!  May you find a little breathe in the drama and stress of life this weekend. Xoxoooooo.  Oh, and I encourage you to open your hips in thread the needle. Do it. Right now. Hold each side for 2-5 minutes and use a pillow under your neck if you need it.  It will make you feel better, I swear.

Somethings I learned..

• Taking a weekend off of eating out and drinking alcohol should be a more regular practice.
• Kitcheree when traveling is wonderful.
• Yin yoga and meditation are my new morning friends.
• Ayurvedic practices feel really good to my whole being. More than counting calories or competing with my man friend for healthfulness.
• I want to eat more naturally. Whole grains and veggies. Less processed.
• I want to use dairy and fat as more of a treat and less of a main course.
• I want to remember that treats are yummy when enjoyed periodically. When they become a regular practice they aren’t so much treats anymore.
• I really enjoyed having Holly & my friends support on the cleanse. I don’t have to be miserable to take better care of myself. She gave us the right amount of flexibility and I feel like she showed me how to listen to my body better when trying to cleanse.  In the past I was too strict and hard on myself.

You know it’s time for something when…

You are sad that you aren’t at work to enjoy tamale day. Really?
A day off of drinking is only having 1-3 drinks.
Eating 5 meals out in a weekend is normal.
You feel like you don’t have food at home if you don’t have rosemary triscuits and cheese in the house.
You wear your “fat” clothes. You know you’ve got ‘em.
You notice other peoples weight or shape and compare yourself to them. Normally, I think I’m just a different kind of awesome.
You accidentally eat a whole bag/box of something without noticing.
You can’t sleep.
You keep getting sick.
You get all bijigity over something or someone unnecessarily.
You aren’t as smiley lately.

Tomorrow is the last day of my cleanse. The retreat aspects of my journey is over. It was great. I am sleepy.

Tonight I have reached the end of the 2nd day of my Yin Yoga & Ayurveda Cleanse Retreat. I have bee meditating, eating beans, rice, and veggies, practicing yin yoga, and taking some digestive herbs and herbal teas. The retreat has met for a few hours each day, and then we’re on our own. Today’s class was great. We had a meditative hike which led us into the lush green hills of Arroyo Grande with an amazing view of the surrounding mountains and ocean. During the silence in nature I felt very peaceful, much more than I have in a while. I felt such gratitude for everything around me. I felt awe for mother nature and the shade of green she has painted the typically brownish mountains of the central coast. The sun was shining, the wind was brisk, it felt good to be alive. Yin yoga felt amazing per usual. I feel like I should meditate and practice yin every morning, even if just for 20 minutes. 10 minutes. It feels like it has such a positive impact on me, my mind and my body. I feel at peace. I want to be nicer to myself and those around me. I realize that it isn’t such a big deal. I want to have fun, but not so much I make myself sick. Not that I want to give up my lover vinyasa, I think I would like to split my time more between the two practices.

We had a cooking demonstration and enjoyed lunch as a group. I really like my version of kitcheree better, I think I don’t like one or two of the spices she uses, but I’ve taken to adding enough veggies to it so it tastes better to me. This cleanse has been better than any of the juice cleanses I have tried in the past. For me, staying nourished is a must. I still have moments of feeling a little angry or hungry, but never so much that I feel overwhelmed by it.

Tonight I went to a St. Patrick’s Day party with my friends. It’s an annual event, and it’s usually very fun and decadent I really enjoyed it again this year as always and it was not as hard as I thought it would be to stick to my cleanse. I had a single bite of corned beef, a single sip of beer, and sipped my water all night long. If you haven’t already guessed, I’m not a strict kind of yogi, and those bites were just enough flavor for me to say “Mmmm, I’ll enjoy you later.” My friend Matt played some awesome tunes and I got up and danced the night away. I was reminded how much of my behavior is just pure habit, ok, sometimes it’s stress related too. But tonight my friends, I just let go of “the cleanse mind” and had a grand ole time. If I can have a blast while cleansing, I should be able to enjoy all life has to offer, in some way, right? And let me tell, you, it really wasn’t that hard. I just had to sit through some quiet moments, some tiny moments of hunger or sleepiness that eventually the song was right, and it was time to let a little roxtar out to play. Sometimes a little patience and uncomfort is ok. Tonight I didn’t worry about what I was or wasn’t doing that others were or weren’t doing, and just smiled and enjoyed the present moment.