I’m in the no sleep phase of the pregnancy.  I get heartburn via e-mail at least twice a day.  I’m feeling emotional and have a breakdown once a week wondering, “why am I doing this, I’m not ready!”.  The nursery is only halfway setup, there are papers and folders everywhere, and I’m due in a week!

Yes, it’s true!  My baby is named Smiling Dog Yoga.  The due date is next Friday.  I’ve been being cagey and shy about talking about it online, but I think it’s time I share this wonderful news with my world and document my feelings and thoughts.  I have been given the wonderful opportunity to be a bigger part of the yoga studio I’ve been teaching at for the last 3 years.  I will be taking over as owner of the studio 10/1/11 (what a nice number).  The transition through October will be a little slow as I honor commitments with MINDBODY. Those photos are of me in the studio.

What does this mean?  I will be leaving my awesome travel, desk, teaching, software job and will be trying my best to make the studio a place people want to be part of, practice yoga at, shop at, eat at, feel the love at.  Yoga has changed my life for the better and it is my hope to share that with others.  I have to make it a viable business as I am spending every dime I have, and many I don’t to make it happen, so numbers, business, budgets, the bottom line will be something I know very well.  It will matter that it can support itself and me, and if it can’t, well, lets not get negative yet.

I’m super excited and feel so blessed to be able to take this kind of adventure.  Timing is such an interesting phenomena, isn’t it?  If I hadn’t came to grad school in SLO, I wouldn’t have found MINDBODY at just the right time.  If I hadn’t found MINDBODY, I may not have gotten the amazing experience of helping wellness businesses grow for the last 5 years and the confidence that I could be an entrepreneur, something I never imagined I’d do.  If I hadn’t failed my grad school qualifiers I might be teaching a bunch of apathetic college freshmen math.  If I wasn’t honest, open, bold, and available to the owner at the right time, maybe I wouldn’t have had this chance.  If I wasn’t saving as much money as I could the last 3 years, I wouldn’t have been able to make it happen, even if I wanted to.  I am so humbled that all these stars aligned to help one of my dreams come true.

And it was a dream.  Even if I wouldn’t let myself say it out loud.  I remember the first time the dream seed was planted.  I was studying graduate level math with a friend, we would meet up after I went to yoga.  While I was working on homework I thought, “I’d rather just do yoga, or maybe run a yoga studio, than study this abstract subject that is driving me batty. Ah, that’s funny, and it’ll never happen. Back to studying theorems and trying to prove the unproveable.”

So, my adventure begins, and has already begun.  It is more work than I ever imagined.  It’s more paperwork, patience, insurance, money than I thought possible, and “they” lead you to believe.  It’s already rewarding me too.  My website updates and pricing changes have brought in people.  I get to see the stoned-yogi-bliss-look all the time.  I love being able to connect with the staff and students more, in a way that wasn’t really possible when I was only there a couple hours a week.

So it’s official.  I’m about to be a yoga studio owner and rock that shit.  I hope you’re ready for me SLO

What really surprised me most was how much the practice of yoga is really just taking the space to attune with the reality of the human drama, your own human drama. The last few weeks I have found myself a tad bit grumpy. I didn’t want to work, be social, cook for myself, let alone practice yoga and stick with my meditation. Then I got sick, and all I could do was sleep and watch my favorite teenage drama (which I shall not name). Maybe some of you felt this way. I know some of you have. But for some reason, knowing my nearest and dearest felt the winter forces as well didn’t help me release it, accept it, or like it. I think I was even wallowing in it. Yet, on this call today, when we were in our smaller groups being encouraged to share what’s up in our lives with complete strangers, hearing Sheevs say she has felt it too, I had a complete shift. Maybe it was the anonymity, maybe it was just my time to let my inner Oscar The Grouch go, but listening to other people be honest in this way, allowing myself to be vulnerable with these strangers, seemed to melt the funk off of me.

I wonder how much of the worlds problems could be released if we could just be there for each other in this way more often? Why did I need Sheevs to open this door for me? I wonder how many people dealing with depression, funky, grumpy, loneliness, insecurity, discomfort could just let it go if a random person smiled at them and said, share it my friend, let it go. In case you’re curious, that’s what a yoga teacher training is like. It’s like group therapy, with lots of yoga, sharing, talking, and it’s not annoying at all, it’s wonderful! Ahhhh, I’m getting so touchy, feely, softy in my old age. I’ve been away from Detroit too long.

Sheevs ended the call saying that feeling the shadow forces, self negating, holding us back kind of funk despite this joyous time of year is normal. The ritual of Christmas, the Yule Log/Candle, Santa Claus, Gift Giving, Feasting, all of it is part of the process of letting go of the dark and finding the space, joy, peace, and light with your closest friends and family. We were invited to create a solstice ritual of our own to connect with this auspicious time of year, which has me totally intrigued. Here are some tips if you are intrigued as well.  I have always wanted to try 108 namaskars (sun salutations, i.e. a whole lot of yoga), maybe this is my time?

• Start at sunrise, noon, sunset, or moonrise
• Offer your ritual practice, be it meditation, chanting, movement, yoga, hiking, cycling, or fire poi
• Offer an intention
• Practice 9, 18, 27, 54 or a full japa 108 prostrations or namaskars

I am speed blogging from the MINDBODY booth at the Yoga Journal in Estes Park, Colorado while everyone is in classes. I arrived in the glorious Rocky Mountains Wednesday night after the Big Burrito Fiasco at Phoenix Airport. The Fiasco went something like this: “No tortillas at a burrito stand? What?!?! Ok, I’ll have a bowl. Why are there 5 people back there but only one person is making food? Oops, my burrito bowl goes down! Just give me some food, my flight is leaving, I’m starving and going to bite your head!” Then, our booth goes missing so we have no sales materials to hand out to prospective clients of our software. My talk at the Business of Yoga was magnificent though, of course. I shared Guerilla Marketing strategies. To market yourself as a teacher or small yoga business you should create a Simple Postcard and distribute it (think simple yoga pose, website, done), offer a killer Introductory Offer to get people into your business ($40 for first month of yoga), a competitively and appropriately priced Monthly Membership ($90/month for unlimitted yoga, wooooowwww), and if appropriate, train your staff to sell. That’s it. Do it and you’ll be successful.

Then on to the fun part, taking yoga classes. I accidentally went to a Vira practice (i.e. fire, active, sweaty yoga) with Shiva Rea this morning. “Great, 108 prostration push-ups first thing in the morning” crossed my mind. I survived it. In fact, I did more than survive. I feel great after, don’t feel so sore I want to cry or nap, (not yet at least).  I took it a bit easy, the 8010 feet elevation has me huffing and puffing like a smoker. She talked about how we sometimes have to step into the fire to initiate change. Often you’ll be in the midst of a shit storm thinking, “why am I here”, like I was this morning, but you survive it, and often you feel better afterward. I was reminded of my current yoga philosophy, “less is so much more”.

I also attended a class on Ayurveda and Weight Loss with John Doulliard.  It was great! He went into the science of digestion in detail, showing the stress and problems compromised digestion creates in the body. He recommends eating with the seasons, eating wholesome, clean foods that are appropriate for your “type”. To lose weight, improve digestion, calm your mood, and get healthy and more energy he suggested the following tips.  Only moving on in the steps if you can very comfortably adjust to the step above it:  (1) 3 Meals a Day, No Snacks, (2) Smaller Supper, (3) Earlier Supper, (4) Skip Supper.

Now, I don’t want anyone getting crazy and doing those things immediately, but if you’ve ever had a problem with weight, or even if not, Ayurveda is an amazing system of health and wellness.  Check out his website or books for more info.  Some of my favorite quotes from his lecture:

“If we’re not digesting greasy foods well, isn’t it naive to think we’re digesting healthy food well, and getting the vital vitamins and nutrients they provide?”
“Just eating well is not going to be enough. We need to ensure that our digestion and detox channels are working smoothly. Many metals and toxins from youth can live in the fat cells for decades.”
“You’re just old and must take digestive enzymes forever. I hate that. It’s a total crock!”
“When stressed the body thinks, this is an emergency, store fat, crave sugar.”
When asked what about eating 6 meals a day and keeping the metabolism roaring he replied, “Why should our metabolism be on high all day? It’s unnecessary and it wasn’t designed to be that way. We have lost our ability to digest large meals. If we eat a meal and crash shortly thereafter, we think we shouldn’t eat that much again, but that’s not exactly the problem. We just can’t digest it due to years of abuse. We’re reacting to the wrong problem.”
“Eating 3 meals a day helps your body become a more regular fat burner. Stabilizes blood sugar, so you don’t crave coffee and sugar all the time.”
When asked why we should lost excess weight, “We lose weight to connect with our more subtle layers in the body. It allows us to connect with our more true, happy, contented selves.”

Whew! A great conference so far. Yoga Journal does a great job of bringing great information and teachers together. The YMCA of the Rockies is the perfect venue, we eat together in a cafeteria, befriending yogis is the norm, hike to get to different classes, bond with Elk and Deer and Double Rainbows! Magical. I am so blessed and thankful to be here.

PS. They served nacho cheese at lunch. Just though you should know.

The first five days of my recent teacher training focused on Fluid Power Vinyasa Yoga. Fluid Power is considered wave motion within yoga. “Wave motion is the underlying movement of all creation – an understanding shared by Quantum Physics and the ancient wisdom of yoga which discovered thousands of years ago the pulsating quantum wave known as spanda or spanda shakti. Fluid Power practices explore the wave movement that is the reality of our fluid, quantum body for your circulation, longevity, creative renewal and amphibious longings.” Our bodies are 70% water right? As is the earth.

This was by far my favorite yoga training to date. I just love the yoga sequences we focused on, they are challenging, creative, and fun. Check out the Fluid Power DVD by Shiva Rea if you’re interested. Below are some of my thoughts, rants, and brain dumps from the immersion. Continue reading at your own risk.

My thoughts after this Fluid Power Wave…Don’t combine “work” with a yoga training or vacation. I made the mistake of trying this and my heart just wasn’t in it. Be honest, let work and your normal life know what to expect, and tie up your loose ends so you can enjoy the freedom. I loved morning yoga practice so much! Leading up to this training I practiced at least 10 minutes a day for a month, but something about doing it first thing in the morning felt even better than practicing a little every day. Since returning from yoga camp I have been trying to keep it alive. I’ve been hitting the hay by 10ish and getting up at 6ish to give myself time to meditate and practice before work. I really love it so far and have full intention of making this a more permanent part of my routine. The hardest part is going to bed by 10pm, but I swear if you do, it’s totally worth it, you wake up feeling good and get to enjoy time to yourself before giving your energy to the world. I have been telling my friends that I’m sleeping like a grandma now so they fully understand why I can’t be social after 9pm. Ok, so maybe on the weekends I give myself a little more freedom to sleep in.

My “pre-training-training” really helped me prepare appropriately for this experience. For 30 days I practiced yoga every day for 10 minutes and tried to practice for an hour every other day. The seven days leading up to the training I tried to take a class from another teacher or at a studio every day. Oh and kick my ass they did. I felt pretty tired at moments, but overall so much better than I had ever felt at a yoga training. It’s pretty amazing what healthfulness we are capable of if we just shut up and do it already.

We got the daily schedule for the 10 days, and it didn’t look too bad.

7-9am Opening Session
9-10:45am Shiva Public Class, aka “the real estate battle”
12:15-4pm Theory & Practice
4-6pm Teaching Lab
7:30-9:15pm Quantum Movie Night/Special Events

Most days had this rough schedule, we had one evening completely off. The evening activities and theory discussed varied each day. We usually practiced yoga during the 7am session, which I loved. As we got started at 7am that first day someone’s cell phone started ringing. It was totally loud and disruptive like only cell phone’s can be. Shiva said, “We all know our cell phone baby. It’s ok if it’s yours. Go ahead and get it. No really it’s ok, go ahead.” She compared hearing the ring on your cell phone to hearing your baby cry in a grocery store. We all know when it’s our baby.

Shiva then went on to explain how this training was not about pretenses, everyone has a moment where they need to take care of business, just try not to let that get into the way of our reason for being at the training. Don’t let it be an excuse to be lazy. What?!?!? An educational and shared study space where the rules are slightly flexible? Lightness when life happens? You mean I don’t have to be deprived of sleep, reality, sanity, food to participate in this? Where did I get the idea that something doesn’t count if it doesn’t cause pain? She really created and offered a space for a healthy challenge and learning. I always think the words, but to live them is another thing. She called it energy management. I’m not saying I don’t like a challenge or that my yoga practice or classes need to be wimpy. I just don’t want to be walking around causing myself more pain in the long term, through injuries, unconsciousness, lack of integrity and wholeness.

Some Shiva-isms I loved…”Pinch me if I ever get that corny…Movement isn’t just fun, it’s consciousness.”

Dedications, feelings, thoughts about the ten days at the beginning. I dedicated my training to my old self, Detroit, my family, my grandmas, my past and future students.

I really enjoyed practice teaching. She reminded us to keep in tune with our own sacred call, rhythm, breathe. Next, just say where the body part needs to go in space. “Inhale arms to the sky.” Finally, adding assists if appropriate. She mentioned that we can only measure brain activity when keeping still, wouldn’t it be amazing to see it while we do yoga? Hmmmm something to ponder. Another thing to ponder…Children being canaries in the coal mine, obesity, discontent, suicide?

During practice teaching you teach a small sequence of postures you may or may not know to a fellow trainee. I love that it brings me face to face with what I don’t know so quickly. Instead of making small mistakes while teaching a live class, you make them all right away when on the spot like this, and get the feedback immediately. Love it.

Shiva Brain Dump Tidbits…
Inhale offer hands forward
Exhale hands open to sides w/ om
How does your body respond to gravity
How can you get extension within that realm
Straight arms but not rigid
From flexibility to stability
Suhaja bhujangasana = dynamic plank…it has a name!
The battle for yoga mat real estate in LA
Serve tea to any kind of stress in your body
Gather the energy to move to the other side of your mat
Table top to dandasana, i likey
Unless you got a note from your mamma, you can do this pose
Now how low can you go, but how deep can you get
Inversion time is self-practice time
Breathe is birth
I want to read more about krama yoga sequencing
Breathe and sound are identical energetically
One inhale is like the 12 hours of night time
I really enjoyed chanting
Change should always happen for a reason. It gives the cells hope. The body holds fear, we want to ease it.
Try and find the difference between compression and opening. Sinking and lifting.
Kamakaze chaturangas
Iyengar’s Brilliant Prop World

Brain dump from Chris Tompkins lectures on (tantra) yoga.
We’re ok with trees dying, waves receding, but we’re uncomfortable with our own contraction
Be careful not to blame your life situations on a feeling you have or are creating
Whenever we find ourselves in a situation thinking “this should not be happening” you should try working with whatever is there. Can’t want to feel “contracted” or “expanded”.
Feeling love for someone is your own love that is being awakened. Beautiful triggers perhaps. Maybe for one wave: day, month, year, lifetime.
I found it interesting that only half the class felt enormous expansion (joy, happiness) after an unexpected contraction (suffering, pain). Hmm. (Like feeling like you learned or grew from the unexpected loss of a loved one).
Tantra believes we should have a better relationship with the Chitta Vrittis (mind chatter) rather than the idea of having “no-mind”.
Spanda is mantra. It means pulsation, but actually refers to the point between a contraction and expansion, inhale and exhale. This is the point of awakening.
Knots come from holding on to our life situations.
The mind is like a child. Sometimes you have to ignore it.
When you get “high” don’t make the mistake of giving the object credit. Or else everyone would get high when with that person who made you high, in that situation, it’s within you.

I have been in a spinning vortex of awesome female energy, yogi stoned out bliss, and sweaty goodness at a Fluid Power Vinyasa Yoga Training with one of my favorite teachers, Shiva Rea, at her home studio in Venice Beach, CA.  I arrived straight from NYC late a few nights ago, after spending a few days teaching at another MINDBODY University business intensive, which was another great experience.  I really love teaching, and I feel blessed to be able to teach technology to yogis and others. I was pooped from it though and as I walked into my hotel here in Venice Beach someone yelled my name, it was a fellow trainee from the last time I trained with Shiva.  Yay! I was fried and delirious from travel and work in NYC, but it was nice to be welcomed by a smiling yogi face.  The travel gods were on my side this trip and the hotel in Venice gave me a spontaneous upgrade so I am staying in this “vacation suite”.  It is really a one bedroom apartment with a view of the ocean, probably bigger than my apartment in SLO to be honest.  It is way too much space for me, but lets just say I don’t mind.  I have a full kitchen, a huge TV, and it’s a very peaceful, grounding place to stay. After being in a room the size of a closet in Manhattan for 4 days, it’s like a breathe of fresh air.

BUT. I have no internet. My cell phone barely works in my little oasis. So, friends, this training will be documented the old fashioned way, with paper and pen, and occasional Facebook upload of photos.  I think this is a blessing for me and I will enjoy this time to digest, do yoga, and be free of the never ending distractions that my beloved internet can provide.  I will give you the full scoop of what this yoga training business is all about upon my return to technological reality next week. 

All I know is that having the opportunity to fully immerse myself in something that I love and feel so inspired by, something that gives me energy, that makes my brain spin with new ideas and philosophies, gives me the opportunity to learn, study, sweat, smile, and bond with 100 amazing people, it’s just fucking amazing.  Having the space to feel like you can suck at something and it’s ok and not the end of the world and that it doesn’t mean you are a worthless being or yoga teacher, it’s something we don’t get often enough in life.  I hope everyone finds something that so inspires them, and takes the time to immerse themselves in it, if even for a short time.  So get on your bike, kiss your baby, lick your dog, and smile my friends.  We are riding the wave of life. Cheers.

I’m getting ready to head to San Francisco tomorrow afternoon for the 7th Annual SF  Yoga Journal Conference. I will be presenting Online Marketing at the Business of Yoga part of the conference on behalf of MINDBODY, taking a few yoga classes, and manning the MINDBODY tradeshow booth.  I updated my presentation with the lots of options for creating an online presence these days, from Facebook to Twitter to E-Mail Marketing to Online Advertising, the options are getting endless.  There are lots of options for the yogis of the world to get themselves out there, create community, and share the wonderful practice of yoga.  I crossed my t’s, dotted my i’s, and even figured out how to get my powerpoint presentation to work on my new, sexy macbook pro.  I’m so proud of my technical prowess.

I spent a fair amount of the last few days plotting my travels. How much of our yoga practice can we bring with us while traveling, especially when it’s for work or not for leisure exactly. This trip is not a long nor far one, but I’ll be working long days and I have learned lately that a little planning helps make me a little healthier and more sane when outside of my routine. There are many things I love about traveling for work: exploring new cities, great food, reading, bonding with travel friends, a break from the routine, new yoga teachers. Yet, I am becoming more and more of a home body these days and stepping outside of my home base often leaves me exhausted and sick. Things that suck about traveling for work: too little sleep, not enough down time, less than ideal food and not-so-regular meal times, exhausting amounts of work, travel lonliness. I have made an effort to be prepared for this trip and have packed quite the epic bag of snacks and supplies. I know for a fact that I won’t eat it all, but I’d rather be over prepared rather than under prepared. The last time I was in New York City I remember multiple moments of “oh my god if I don’t eat right now I might kill someone” so here I am. It is my goal to practice yoga and meditate daily, if only for 5-10 minutes each, and eat one meal on my own each day. It would also be nice if I could get 7 hours of sleep per night and limit alcohol intake, it’s oh so difficult when having fun with friends in a new place. You’d think yoga conferences would be pretty chill, but it’s not always the case. I got some of my plotting and planning ideas from Good to Go, an article from Yoga Journal on eating well when on the road. I now bring a hot plate so I can even cook some kitcheree for at least one meal. I’ve also packed trail mix, larabars, fruit, kitcheree ingredients, tea, and vitamin c. I have a lot of travel supplies I travel with in fact, I suggest bringing any and all of the following: pain killers, ear plugs, eye mask, ipod player, laptop, camera, technology plugs/cords, business cards, good book, plenty of good food supplies, a good toiletry bag, netty pot, journal.

I will report on the conference and my healthy travel mission here.  I am looking forward to taking classes and getting a little yoga infusion from my favorite teachers. I am still battling my man friend for weight loss as a percentage of body weight in the new year.  I’m still not sure how much weight loss will be practical or achievable for me, I haven’t checked my body weight in a few weeks, but I’m making an effort still and feeling pretty good, so we shall see. Last weekend I rebelled quite a bit and it felt freaking good! Sometimes a little down time is just what the doctor ordered. When it comes to health, I sure as hell don’t believe in absolutes and I’ve been giving myself one free day a week while trying to moderate every other day. Easy enough so far. Lets see how things go in SF.

Prideful. When I looked up the definition of the word I got the following definition: Having or showing arrogant superiority to and disdain of those one views as unworthy; “some economists are disdainful of their colleagues in other social disciplines”; “haughty aristocrats”; “his lordly manners were offensive”; “walked with a prideful swagger”; “very sniffy about breaches of etiquette”; “his mother eyed my clothes with a supercilious air”; “a more swaggering mood than usual.”

We at MINDBODY have been coming up with our Company’s Core Values and one aspect that we included in version 1.1 was that we aim to be a humble and helpful company. Rick, the CEO says, “Proud of MINDBODY’s culture and success, but not prideful, as pride alone prevents future growth”. I am going through some changes at work, namely my title is changing from “Director” to “Manager”. I have to admit when I first discussed the change with my supervisor I felt mildly attacked, hurt, and most of all like it was a reflection that I hadn’t done a good job over the last year or so. At the time, I had some residual stress brewing around in my body and heart leftover from other difficult situations at work over the last few weeks and looking back I see how easily our reactions are colored by so much more than the situation at hand. It’s amazing how sometimes you know how you want to react to situations, but sometimes the emotional side of yourself just goes where it wants. I often waiver during these situations between doing a pretty good job being present and honest with my feelings and yet burying them a little bit in an effort to be more cool and yogi than I really am able to be. I am happy to report that my emotional reaction was pretty short and mild considering what it might have been like for me in the past. I was very quickly able to think. “I love MINDBODY. I’m thankful for MINDBODY. I love myself. I want what’s best for us both. Sometimes changes need to happen that are no fault of mine.” I am reminded today to not get too prideful of my work, roles, or life situations and not to take it all so personally.

Overall, I am really enjoying my present moments being part of a company that provides technology solutions to the yoga community. I am able to combine my great passions: technology, teaching, and yoga.

In the February 2010 edition of Yoga Journal they have a great article (Aim High by Hillari Dowdle) on studying the purusharthas, or four aims of life, to create balance and happiness this year. Ah the word balance immediately brings peace to my mind. The aims are dharma (duty, ethics), artha (prosperity, wealth), kama (pleasure, sensual gratification), and moksha (the pursuit of liberation). I enjoyed this quote on kama: “Focusing on the right kinds of pleasure can lead you toward your dharma (your life’s purpose) – and help you fulfill it with passion. Passion is never the problem. It’s the solution.” There is more in the on them from Rod Stryker.  If that beautiful photo of a little artha in action made you hungry, it’s from the cafe at the Smiling Dog cafe recently. PS. I am going to ride my bike out of my way right now to try to get a leg up on the 2010 healthy roxtar challenge at 8:20pm. Man-friend is going down!