Roxy Yoga

Living Yoga Sadhana Continued July 7, 2010

Previously, I wrote about why I gave up cocktails, sleep, and laziness for 30 days for my Yoga Teacher Certification.  Now, I share what these 30 days were really like for me, and my conclusions.  In addition to giving up the juice, I spent these days…

• Waking up every day near 6:15am when I’d rather cuddle all morning.
• Practicing yoga every day for at least 20 minutes.
• Meditating every day for at least 20 minutes.

My overarching goal: renewed dedication to my health, wellness, and sanity for just 30 simple days. I actually enjoyed waking up early to practice yoga and meditate once I got used to it, the early morning summer sunrise was on my side.  It is absolutely imperative to get to bed by 10pm if one wants to wake up at the butt crack of dawn. That is the secret key that those morning exercisers and parents everywhere have known all along.  Once I realized that I am waking up to do something I love, it wasn’t so hard to drag myself out of bed.  We wake up every day for work and doing other things that are required of us, why shouldn’t I wake up to do something that’s just for me? There is never going to be an easier moment than right now.

I dedicated myself to doing the yoga poses that I have an aversion to, that are the most painful and difficult for me, each and every day, with a bunch of blocks and props to help me survive them. They are king arthur’s pose, monkey pose, forearm balance, double pigeon, and frog. I usually do a little sun salutations to warm up, then fit those in somehow, and wowsers, they hurt so good.  My body is feeling much more open to these postures now, but we are far from best friends at this point.

I did a lot of fire based yoga practices and I noticed that it often made me grumpy. A fire practice is a more energetic sequence of postures that ignite, sustain, and transform your energy. In other words, hurt-so-good kind of sweaty yoga with lots of yogi push-ups, strong standing poses, and core work.  The fire absolutely demands your breathe and integrity in your body.  They say that if you play with fire you’re gonna get burned, and burned I got.  I was fatigued and overtired often after playing with the fire.  Practicing yoga and participating in any challenging physical practice requires that we manage our energy with honesty and grace.  It’s not about kicking your own ass or playing the panda bear and not challenging yourself at all, it’s about finding a middle ground.

Lack of sleep makes me crazy, no matter how healthy I am being otherwise! During my 30 days I attended a friends bachelorette party, a comical, wonderful little cultural ritual. I think I might use the excuse of being a yoga teacher in training more often. People totally accept it and want to talk about yoga when you say “Sorry, no drinks for me, I’m in a personal sadhana.” I played the roll of designated driver during a celebratory evening of dinner, watching the roller derby, and night life. I was exhausted by the time I got to bed at 2:30am and driving people all over the Bay Area of CA. After being awoken by a forgotten alarm, and having to drive 4 hours home, I was more tired than I had been in a long time. I had a sleep deprivation hangover. I went to bed by 9pm Sunday night and slept like a baby until the morning.

I didn’t mind being the only one not partaking in the cocktails throughout my 30 days, and in particular during the bachelorette party. It was a great group of women and I enjoyed conversing with them throughout the night. They weren’t overindulging too terribly, and I didn’t feel left out because I wasn’t. I was approached by a few intoxicated men towards the end of the night. I was sort of taken aback by how silly-drunk and obnoxious they were. “Did he just do the frat boy waist grab?” I wondered.  It reminded me of college and how crazy the drinking and party scene was there. Hormones and freedom combined to equal chaos. Usually I have no problem telling people who are crossing my lines to leave me alone.  This time I wasn’t so blunt or forthright.  I just walked away instead. Interesting I thought.

Omitting alcohol from my daily life was just the right sadhana to give myself a little break. I had a few moments of feeling left out or a bit awkward in a social settings where alcohol was being consumed en masse. Sometimes you just feel a little off though, whether or not you are drinking cocktails. During those awkward moments I noticed that I wanted to have a drink with everyone a little more than usual and I realized how easy it is for alcohol to become a sort of safety net in social settings. It allows us to loosen up and feel like we belong. Instead of partaking, I just said oh well, I’m having an off day, and went home. By the next morning though, I let it go. A good nights rest is wonderful medicine sometimes.

At moments I got sick of talking about why I’m not drinking this month and I couldn’t tell if I bring it up or if others do and it seemed to be a little of both. It’s amazing how much we have to say about drinking alcohol, or lack there of. It’s such a culturally accepted habit, and it’s so much a part of our social structures. So many people have a history with it, an opinion of it, good or bad or both.  I never really think about it being a big deal or conscious choice and just have a drink because that’s what we often do.

I admit I’ve had moments of being extremist on myself, thinking, “I feel so great, I’m going to keep this up forever. I’ll never drink again! Yoga every day! Yes!” And then I come back to reality and remember that I actually like beer, and I like drinking it with my family and friends sometimes.  Have I really forgotten Alcoholics Notorious, bike wine tasting, and Oberon? We must be careful with the juice and it’s a good idea to take a break when needed, and maybe a permanent break if you find your bad moments start to outweigh the good, and you’re overindulging more than you mean to.  This sadhana has reminded me that taking a break isn’t so hard to do, and taking care of myself feels pretty damn good, but ultimately it’s all about finding a good, honest, balance. Oh, and I’m totally in love with yoga!

If you got all the way to here, then you must really be my friend or something. I apologize for the excessively long post, but sometimes a girl just has a lot to say.

Living Yoga Sadhana June 29, 2010

I have completed 180 training contact hours for the Prana Flow Teacher Training Certification and I am working on completing the rest of the certification requirements which include a few different home study projects. Over the last 3 weeks I have been developing and practicing a Living Yoga Sadhana as part of my “Om Work”.

Sadhana is the sanskrit name that often gets translated as practice. The only problem with “practice” is that it can often become something we “do” and soon become a separate part of stream of daily life. To embody the flow in yoga is to enter the continuous stream of living yoga. – www.shivarea.com

Shiva often translates sadhana as the groove into one’s self. That groove can be like a subtle track, at first we learn a technique and the process is just beginning and is not established. Gradually, through daily process, the track has flow and transformational momentum and then develops into a natural channel that becomes a pathway within. I have found that sometimes I live in “technique land” for quite a while before I find my groove. But eventually the groove gets sweeter with patience. To live yoga, it is important to cultivate pathways that irrigate all aspects of one’s life and changes according to one’s nature. The purpose of developing my own sadhana is to develop practices that I fall in love with enough to sustain me when I’m not feeling the love flowing within me.

My Sadhana has been dedicated to renewed health and wellness. I have been slowly but surely falling in love with the practice of yoga for the last 5 years and during this time I have also become more aware of my health as an all-encompassing whole. I have tried to manage my health in a myriad of ways, and I have found that Ayurveda appeals to me more than any other “diet” or way of taking care of myself. Part of my Sadhana is to eat more Ayurvedically and also not drinking alcohol for 30 days to give my body a rest and gentle cleanse.

Check out one of my favorite Aurveda books, Ayurveda: A Life of Balance, a basic, but good cookbook, Ayurvedic Cooking for Westerners, and my favorite Ayurveda recipe ever!

What kind of practices do you have that sustain you? Riding bikes? Singing karaoke? Is it time to add another practice or layer to the mix? I ride bikes, eat veggies, practice yoga and wouldn’t have thought I needed another layer but have really enjoyed this process. Maybe you could too.

i’m almost official June 3, 2010

I survived my 10-day yoga teacher training immersion with Shiva Rea and have landed in my sweet little apartment in SLO in one piece. With this training’s end I have officially completed the “classroom” hours required for my 200 hour certification with Shiva’s Samudra School of Living Yoga. I can also get registered by Yoga Alliance, which is the governing board of yoga teachers here in the US. I feel so amazing after spending 10 days with Shiva. She was even more grounded, radiant, funny, and real than she has been in the past. I’m afraid to type this, but I’m not sick either! Both of my prior training/immersion experiences left me depleted and sick for at least a few days or almost a week afterwards. Not this time, babe. I am energized, inspired, renewed, excited about being able to share this great practice with those around me.

To get my certification I still need to read and report on six yoga books, have someone take photos of some key yoga poses, have someone film me teaching a class, and doing a living sadhana which is sort of like lent, where I’ll give up or dedicate myself to something for 30 days, from new moon to new moon. I’m not terribly hung up on getting a piece of paper, but I feel like I have so much to learn from Shiva, and this is one of the best ways for me to continue to learn from her. So, it’s almost official. I’ll have that shiny piece of paper to hang in my office next to the McCarthy’s calendar

On another note, I will be writing about my experience at training on here, so expect to see a blow-by-blow account of what went on and how I felt about it. I also want to document exactly what I did for my spring Ayurvedic cleanse for my yogi friends who keep asking about it. I will also start posting the sequences I teach on a weekly basis so that any of my students or yogi friends can see what I’m up to and even practice the sequence outside of the studio (what a concept, I know).

it’s business time May 24, 2010

I have been in a spinning vortex of awesome female energy, yogi stoned out bliss, and sweaty goodness at a Fluid Power Vinyasa Yoga Training with one of my favorite teachers, Shiva Rea, at her home studio in Venice Beach, CA.  I arrived straight from NYC late a few nights ago, after spending a few days teaching at another MINDBODY University business intensive, which was another great experience.  I really love teaching, and I feel blessed to be able to teach technology to yogis and others. I was pooped from it though and as I walked into my hotel here in Venice Beach someone yelled my name, it was a fellow trainee from the last time I trained with Shiva.  Yay! I was fried and delirious from travel and work in NYC, but it was nice to be welcomed by a smiling yogi face.  The travel gods were on my side this trip and the hotel in Venice gave me a spontaneous upgrade so I am staying in this “vacation suite”.  It is really a one bedroom apartment with a view of the ocean, probably bigger than my apartment in SLO to be honest.  It is way too much space for me, but lets just say I don’t mind.  I have a full kitchen, a huge TV, and it’s a very peaceful, grounding place to stay. After being in a room the size of a closet in Manhattan for 4 days, it’s like a breathe of fresh air.

BUT. I have no internet. My cell phone barely works in my little oasis. So, friends, this training will be documented the old fashioned way, with paper and pen, and occasional Facebook upload of photos.  I think this is a blessing for me and I will enjoy this time to digest, do yoga, and be free of the never ending distractions that my beloved internet can provide.  I will give you the full scoop of what this yoga training business is all about upon my return to technological reality next week. 

All I know is that having the opportunity to fully immerse myself in something that I love and feel so inspired by, something that gives me energy, that makes my brain spin with new ideas and philosophies, gives me the opportunity to learn, study, sweat, smile, and bond with 100 amazing people, it’s just fucking amazing.  Having the space to feel like you can suck at something and it’s ok and not the end of the world and that it doesn’t mean you are a worthless being or yoga teacher, it’s something we don’t get often enough in life.  I hope everyone finds something that so inspires them, and takes the time to immerse themselves in it, if even for a short time.  So get on your bike, kiss your baby, lick your dog, and smile my friends.  We are riding the wave of life. Cheers.

i heart good books May 12, 2010

I leave for New York City this Sunday so this week is my last week at home to prepare for my ten day yoga teacher training with Shiva Rea which starts May 21st.  I am more than a little excited.  This is the first training I’ve done where I’ve been able to nerd-out a bit and prepare before hand.  The process has taught me how much I enjoy learning on a daily basis, and how I should make it more of a priority than I have.

My pre-training yoga challenge has been great.  I have mostly practiced yoga every day for the last month leading to the training, although Sundays I have mostly taken off.  I have really enjoyed the benefits of just 15 minutes of yoga practice wherever I can get it. Last Sunday I did it in the grass at a friends house.  Why o’ why do I have to make things so much bigger and harder than they have to be?  Yoga doesn’t have to be the hardest pose, 90 minute sweat-a-thon I sometimes make it out to be.

I have been reading The Subtle Body by Cyndi Dale and this book has made me feel like it’s cracking my brain open.  I am reading about Energy Fields.  “Because of fields, reality is both local (here and now) and nonlocal, which means that everything is interconnected.  In many ways, the future of healing and healing modalities that link allopathic methods and complementary practices lies in the area of fields, simply because they are found both inside and outside of the body.  We are not isolated, closed circuits; we are interconnected brilliant beams of energy.”

I am also enjoying the Yoga Sutras of Pantanjali.

Sutra 2.33:  When disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite (positive) ones should be thought. This is pratipaksha bhavana.

Sutra 2.34: When negative thoughts or actions such as violence etc. are done, caused to be done, or even approved of, whether incited by greed, anger, or infatuation, whether indulged with mild, medium or extreme intensity, they are based on ignorance and bring certain pain. Reflecting thus is also pratipaksha bhavanam.

While you practice yoga, live life, climb mountains, ride waves, remember to turn that frown upside down and stick to the positive.  It doesn’t have to be that hard.

slo times April 30, 2009

Lately I’ve been noticing how much I really enjoy my life, and how much faster it goes by the more you enjoy it. I have been living and loving, but apparently haven’t had much to say about it. I just finished another MINDBODY University (MBU) at Sycamore Mineral Springs here in San Luis Obispo, CA. I organize these events for clients of MINDBODY, this is my full time job. I also teach about MINDBODY software and business growth strategies at the events, consult with clients, soak in the mineral spring hot tubs, and have a splendid time indeed. I really enjoy the niche I have found with MINDBODY and having the opportunity to work with wellness business owners. They are making the world a better place and their energy, tenacity, and fearlessness is inspiring. A few clients shared their stories with me, the story of how they ended up where they are, and I really enjoyed hearing it. I think they all had a willingness to truly embrace the situations that they found themselves in. I didn’t hear many “I just knew this was my calling” types of stories, although I admit that I still have this tiny preconception that that’s how it works. Like they were all struck by a lightning bolt that gave them with overwhelming passion, or like David Bowie showed up in their dreams and told them what their calling is.

It’s refreshing to spend 3 days with people who are trying to be proactive about their businesses and making things happen, and who are just plain ole good fun. It reminds me of that serenity prayer…Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

On the yoga front, I have been teaching yoga 3 days a week, one day at MINDBODY to the cubicle dwellers and two days Smiling Dog, and have been able to bring some of the Shiva creativity from my most recent training experience into my typical Power Yoga sequence (that I learned from Baron Baptiste a year ago) that I just can’t seem to step away from. I have been wavering with my own practice though, trying to practice and meditate as much as I can, but some weeks work and life just makes me tired and I don’t stick to my personal practices as much as I should. My immune system is down again to add to the difficulties. I am thankful to be teaching as it keeps bringing me back to the mat, reminding me how much I really love it there on my little yoga magic carpet rides. I feel ok though that I’m not doing too much yoga, the last year has been a little exhausting teaching and working so much, I am finding that my body and mind need a lot more down time than I have ever noticed I needed.

PS. I am teaching Yoga for Tight Hips at the SLO Yogafest & Wellness Fair Saturday May 16th at 3:15-3:45pm outside at Mitchell Park. This is a free charity fundraiser for Manzanita School Foundation. There are a ton of free yoga workshops going on all day. Hope to see you there!

post shiva stress syndrome February 18, 2009

After spending a week with Shiva Rea at yoga teacher training it is hard to come back to reality. In many ways I am renewed, revitalized, energized, and inspired to share myself and what I’ve learned. In my head I am ready to bring the yoga training spirit back to my reality. After all, it is in day to day life that real yoga happens. It is how I respond to work that piled up in my absence, the undesired expectations placed on me, the difficult life situations, messy house, and exhaustion. All of this is what people live every day and I believe yoga can help make it all better. And it has for me over and over again. Yet, in true human contradictory form, I kind of want to ball up into a corner, be lazy, and forget about it all and submit to the naysayers. Don’t worry, I won’t, but I feel the pull to do so. It’s funny how energy works, how being around so many like-minded people can make you feel so high on life, and how coming back to familiar reality makes you feel a little less somehow. I refuse to let this feeling settle though and am hitting the mat tonight to practice my art and bring my best self to meet these silly mental challenges head on. The inspired feeling will win this battle I assure you.

Today is the first day I’ve eaten cheese in 4 weeks! Oh sweet dairy goodness, thank you for your loving flavor on my bean burritos, how did I live without? I actually feel really well. I am still working with a nutritionist trying to find an optimal way of eating to take care of myself and prevent the sickness and fatigue that have plagued me lately. I have tested myself for wheat, gluten, and milk sensitivity and have found little to no reactions with those foods. It felt good not eating so much of those foods though and I will try to keep my intake of these foods down for the time being. I am testing myself for cheese sensitivity today and tomorrow. If I’m sensitive to cheese I might have to cry. No, I will cry.

shiva tt conclusion part ii February 15, 2009

My training is officially over and I am home after my 3 hour drive from LA back to my lovely home in San Luis Obispo. I really enjoyed my last day to the fullest extent! I wandered to the Venice Beach Farmer’s Market for a little raw food from this booth I stopped by last week. Yum. Our last hour of training Shiva shared some practical tips for taking the flow back with us into our lives, wherever our lives are. She created space for paparazzi rituals which I thought was pretty freaking cool.

In the end I really need to share my gratitude! I feel so blessed to be able to spend time learning from someone whom I honor, respect, and want to learn so much from. I feel so thankful that my life path has brought me right here, right now; living in SLO, working at MINDBODY, teaching yoga, with so many great people in my past, present, and future. I have to concur with Shiva’s teaching philosophy of sharing and paying it forward and I want to do the same in whatever ways I can. I believe in the impermanence of life and I know that my life situation may change at any time. I also know in my heart that I manifested many of the situations I’ve been blessed with and I pray (for lack of a better word) that I can continue to do this and teach others how to do the same. I say this with confidence not cockiness. I don’t share much of my past life situations because I feel like I have their stories in my heart and soul and I’m not sure how much of it is necessary to share. I have lived life, felt pain, felt utterly alone for long periods of time, had no idea what I was doing wrong but realized that I was indeed living some things very wrong, broken hearts, participated in cheap love, forgiven when I didn’t really want to, meditated when my hips throbbed, saved when I’d rather spend, smiled when I wanted to cry, hurt people, hurt myself, been selfish. So it goes.

Thank you Shiva for teaching me how to breathe again. For teaching me how to honor and love my body where it is today. For teaching me how to feel and love the flow and cyclical nature of life.

shiva tt conclusion

I have mostly completed my Shiva teacher training experience. As I expected I am walking away invigorated, excited, more in love with yoga and myself, inspired, ready to bring some of this back to my own personal yoga practice, my day to day life and to my students. I came to this training on a whim, and it was a good whim indeed. Last year I went through a bit of life changes which culminated in a pretty painful Christmas time for me. I’ve been sick a lot over the last year and I have been feeling inspired to take better care of myself on many different levels. I have been teaching yoga for just under a year and I really feel like I’ve grown as a teacher and person in this time frame. I was begining to feel bored though, with yoga, and needed a little infusion. I’m thankful I was able to make this training happen.

I wanted to articulate some thoughts about yoga, training, and life that have arisen over these ten days.

I have to send some love to Camille Thom and Baron Baptiste for creating space for me to become a yoga teacher. I feel thankful that I get to teach something I love, that I feel has practical relevance to day to day life (especially compared to teaching math, one of my past loves).

I was feeling a little relief that this training wasn’t like Baron’s boot camp I attended last year (aka the bubble), but now I realize that boot camp served it’s purpose in a different way.

There were things about it I loved, and things that didn’t resonate with me as much. I loved that we did so much yoga at Baron’s boot camp that the sequence he teaches was ingrained in my body and soul. I think that I needed a skeleton to start teaching from to help me get my teaching voice and it was pretty easy for me to teach after his training even if I was a bit robotic at first. I loved some of the personal growth exercises, I had to face myself, my lack of authentic listening, my tendency to bury the past rather than truly let it go. I loved gazing into the eye’s of every single person there.

I love the way Shiva teaches yoga in a creative, dynamic, living way. I love that I always feel so juicy, alive, happy, ecstatic after practicing with her, even if the class kicked my ass in many ways. I have been craving a little more juice in yoga, in my personal practice, and the classes I teach and she has definitely given me some great tools to create the juice. I love how intuitive her philosophy is and how it makes my heart smile. I love what she says during class. I am excited to bring some of this to my classes.

I am not even going to think about what doesn’t resonate with me from Baron or Shiva or anything else for that matter. I have decided that I will no longer say, “I don’t like …” in life. There are things that resonate with me and that I’m drawn to, and there are things that I’m not. I will focus on the things that resonate and try to find something of value in those things that don’t resonate as much.

I am a bit frustrated that I feel so out of touch with my body and what it’s saying sometimes. I have to get sick to give myself rest. I don’t want to do that anymore. I think I need more quiet in my life now than I have in the past to hear the subtle messages my body and intuition are giving me.

Some questions/thoughts to ponder:

Few of us have lost our minds, but many of us have long ago lost our bodies.
My mission in teaching yoga.
Three practical ways that I can fulfill this mission for myself.
Write down 10-20 verbs, adjectives, adverbs related to my mission. I like quasimoto land and tight hips anonymous.
You can measure strength gains in 2 weeks, but it takes much longer to measure flexibility gains.
Our goal is essential verbal queuing, more than 3 breathes and can talk more.

just say no to burnout

One of the most difficult aspects of yoga for me is actually listening to my body and taking it easy when I need to. I really don’t notice when I need to take it easy in life or yoga until I get super fatigued, feel sick or extra grumpy. The last two nights of my 10 day teacher training I just came home, vegetated, and slept. I was too tired to participate in the late evening classes. Last night I was relaxing and watching a little tv and I just zonked out at like 9pm. I woke up with my laptop on, lights on, after 4 hours of sleep. I had a headache the last two days too, which made it difficult to bring my best self to class each day but luckily the extra rest has helped and I think I will end this training on the top of my game. I really don’t want to get super sick after this like I did after my last teacher training.

The last few days have definitely been the most difficult due to the fatigue. We learned a lot of ways to enhance people in postures with Simon Park. Some of the assists were just too much, I wouldn’t really want to molest a student that way in class. I feel like I will definitely bring some juicy assists back to my classes though. It was funny, he was getting annoyed with our chattiness during class. I mean come on, we’re a group of 50 women teachers, we like to talk! I have a great respect for my teachers and the more I practice, the more human they become.

Yesterday we had a sweaty Valentine’s love class where we meditated on all the love we get from our working bodies, the love that is radiating from our inner being, the love we have for ourselves, while chanting om throughout the whole practice. I had to take it easy during this practice, but the full class made it so sweaty, it was kind of gross at the end. We ended with a dance party which I thoroughly enjoyed. I love her taste in music, a perfect combination of songs we knew and yogi songs. Shiva and I could definitely be friends off the mat. Shiva made me laugh when she mentioned how many people would be making love last night, the night of Valentine’s Day, and that we should all channel that energy. She also mentioned that it didn’t matter whether you were in love with someone, or wondering where your love is, or loving yourself for the moment, that we can all find a place to practice from and we’ve all experienced those different states of love. It was very down to earth and warming coming from a teacher. Check out two of our assistants who were feeling the love, Dorman and Shantel, who are expecting a baby soon. They were so cute I couldn’t resist.

It’s always funny to see how much yoginis, actresses, and other artist types love their mac computers! Mac has done a great job of focusing on that demographic. The other day we were trying to do a presentation on anatomy and the assistants couldn’t figure out how to get the computer to work with the projector. I realize that I am rare with my love of technology and yoga, and I also work with projectors and laptops quite regularly with my day job so I was glad when they solicited our help. I find it interesting though that most people who need help with their macs in the presentation situation don’t want to know how we fix it and get it to work. I’ve done this at Yoga Journal too. I think everyone in that situation experiences some type of adrenaline, myself included, I sweat and get all flushed in the face, so I suppose it’s logical. I will document it here for future reference: The mac was not mirroring the desktop on the projector screen, it was automatically extending the desktop. We had to go into display, then to some secondary screen that wasn’t obvious but it was the middle menu option within the display screen, and we found a checkbox that said something about mirroring the desktop. Voila!

Today is my final day of training and I am excited to go home! I miss my friends, my man friend, my kitty, my apartment. Future reference…I think a 10 day intensive might be a little much and doing 5-7 days is plenty of time. My yoga mat is thoroughly thrashed from all the Vinyasa. I also need to remember ear plugs, painkillers, travel coffee mug, more energy bars, like one a day, trail mix, apples, and a fun book that isn’t at all serious, and my veronica mars dvds. Adios, I’m off to my last yoga practice with Shiva of the training!