conflict

This weekend I had a conflict with someone close to me and it was a pretty challenging situation.  The conflict began late at night after I had some wine and I knew that I didn’t want to deal with it while in such a state of mind.  I knew I would get overly emotional and make it a bigger deal than it was.  I am glad that my someone understood.  Then the next day I had all these plans going on and we weren’t able to resolve it immediately and it slowly ate away at me all day.  My stomach was in knots.  I learned that day how important it is for me to immediately do what I can to resolve conflicts and mostly just talk it out.  Talk out all the insecurities, silliness, pain, love.

When we were finally able to talk it out it was great to be able to be honest and share.  I think being able to be honest with someone is one of the best feelings in the world.  Almost as good as being able to be honest with yourself.  To be understood and heard is one of those things that makes being human and having these things called relationships so scrumptious.  I also realized that dealing with the conflict immediately may also prevent my ego from running amuck which is what it did this weekend.  We laughed recalling the absurd thoughts that had popped into each of our heads while we were apart and unable to resolve our issues.  I thank yoga for helping me be able to sit in the pain of the conflict, face the rejection that conflict implies, and not freak out, run, cry hysterically, or turn to numb myself.  It feels the same, sitting in conflict or sitting in hanumanasana (monkey pose or splits)!  It hurts, it feels so uncomfortable it’s crazy how bad you want to get up and run out of the pose, or yell at your loved ones and push them away…but it too shall pass.  I learned that sitting with it together felt good, that we didn’t need to continually talk to fix it or fight or fill the space with more than what was there.

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